The Gays need to Fuck!

I felt so bad typing this headline… but it sums up exactly what I want to talk about: the desire a lot of (female) readers have.

I’ve read quite a few reviews of m/m books on Goodreads and every so often (often enough or too often, take your pick) they’re like “But where was The Sex?!” Like… there are so many things wrong with that… on so many levels… I don’t even know where to start. But I’ll give it my best.

Stop sexualizing homosexual men! Oh my God!

I’d prefer to use something along the lines of LGBTQIA+ or MOGAI people, but it’s ‘somehow’ only about cis guys (because in that world view being trans* holds not the same worth (don’t get me started on this now, I will only say: this is so wroooooooong)) and of course only 100% gay counts. Nothing else. All other identities do not exist. And a guy with female parts? Ugh, gross. And of course no women are allowed to have major (and sometimes even minor) roles.

Of course The Gays have to be hot and they must have hot monkey sex as often as possible. Otherwise the book isn’t worth anything. Duh.

Regardless of genre, there has to be sex, otherwise they are not truly gay!

They are not gay, if they are not having sex on the pages. Homoromantic? What is that?

In Historical, Thriller, Crime, Fantasy, whatever, and yes even in Romance, a homosexual character doesn’t need to have sex to be a ‘true’ homosexual. What the fuck is wrong with you?! Being homosexual means to be sexually attracted by humans of the same gender. That’s it.

There is one genre I always feel extremely uncomfortable with, if people are criticizing the lack of sex: Young Adult. They are underage, people. You are fetishizing children, for fuck’s sake!

If there is no cock-in-ass-action it doesn’t count as sex!

This is another thing that truly pisses me off. Why does every sex scene have to be about anal sex? There are other things you can do to get yourself and/or your partner off (if that is your goal). Your (fantasy) sex life seems to be kinda boring, if that is the only thing you can think of.



I’ve wanted to write this blog post for ages. So many months I’ve thought about it, but I never had the right words. I’m not sure if those above are the right ones, but they are emotional ones for sure.

What do you think about ‘gay’ books? (If you know me, you know I prefer to describe a pairing as m/m, because most of the time the characters never identify as anything, so who am I to say they are gay, just because they are in love with, interested in or fuck another man?)

Do they need to fuck to make a book interesting or the pairing believable?



Categories: Discussions

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4 replies

  1. Mmm, I agree with a lot of this – the NEED to read explicit m/m is really fetishistic. And don’t get me started on the whole ‘if there’s no penetration, it isn’t real sex’ thing. Not only is that ridiculous, but also heteronormative which…no.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I had the penetration-discussion with a friend of mine once. My girlfriend and I are both cis females and my friend was like “You can never have sex with each other because there will be no penetration”. Nevermind that there are ways to archieve this and that it isn’t necessary for sex to involve it.


  2. You’re so right. The obsession with seeing gay men in particular fuck on the page reeks of fetishization to me. I sometimes see the same problem in fanfiction communities. Personally, I don’t mind characters doing the sex if it works for that particular story, but it’s not a deal-breaker if they don’t. No two stories are the same and what works for one won’t necessarily work for another.

    Liked by 1 person

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